I was nine years old, sitting alone in a snow fort I’d built with my brothers and Dad, in our yard. No agenda, no thoughts really - just present in that way children can be, bundled in my snowsuit, breathing cold air and watching the light change.
That’s when the orb appeared.
It was turquoise-green, or green-turquoise - the color shifted like water. Not scary, not overwhelming. It came to play. And in that playful connection, it shared something profound: Nothing dies. Energy just transforms.
I GOT it. Not intellectually - I was nine. But in my bones, in my cells, I understood. Energy gathering into form, expressing itself, then releasing itself to transform into something new. This was how everything worked - babies, puppies, all of life cycling through forms.
I ran inside, bursting with this revelation. “I know how babies are born!” I announced to my parents. “It’s energy coming together, and when that life completes, the energy transforms and can become something new!”
They shut me down. Not cruelly - they were loving parents. But to them, their nine-year-old was talking gibberish about babies. “No, no, that’s not how it works. Nothing for you to worry about.”
Here’s where the story really begins I made meaning from that shutdown. I decided my direct knowing, my communion with that light being, was incorrect. That I had misunderstood.
And I spent the next forty-plus years translating what I directly perceive into frameworks others can accept.
StrengthsFinder. Leadership models. Graceful conversations. Always building bridges between the truth that light shared - that everything is energy in transformation - and systems built on the illusion of permanence and control.
I became fluent in corporate speak. Learned to wrap cosmic truth in business cases. Developed programs that sneak unity consciousness into boardrooms through “practical” leadership tools.
But here’s what I’m learning: That orb didn’t come through trauma or crisis. It came through play. Through joy. Grace found me in delight, not struggle.
And now, as I am preparing for my own transformation - selling our Vermont property, moving to Costa Rica’s mountains - I’m finally ready to speak directly from that knowing again. To trust that those meant to hear don’t need the translation.
Because that nine-year-old wasn’t wrong. She was shown the fundamental truth of existence: We are all energy, temporarily borrowing these forms, here to transform ourselves and each other through the alchemy of connection.
The corporate world needs leaders who remember this. Who can hold the truth that nothing is permanent, everything transforms, and grace is always available - especially in systems built on fear.
That turquoise light is still with me. It’s in every Graceful Leadership session; every moment I help an executive see beyond their fear-based patterns. It’s in the work of remembering that we’re not fixing broken systems - we’re helping energy transform into its next expression. In reflection it is also the color of the cover of my book, The Power of Graceful Leadership. I am smiling at this inner awareness that did not exist until I wrote this post. This confirms that perspective is everything, a slight shift allowed me to see what all the time has been there.
The seal is breaking. The direct knowing is returning. And I’m finally ready to trust what that nine-year-old knew:
The light comes to those who play.
What childhood knowing have you sealed away to fit into systems that couldn’t hold your truth? I’d love to hear your stories.
I like to believe that the basis of that energy is love
I am a deep believer in this. Our energy transforms. We are not simply extinguishing when we “die”.